I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Send help, water and tortillas.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
