Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
