we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
