I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize