Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
