Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
