wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
