i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i out mim tonsoeep
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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