I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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