so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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