I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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