Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize