I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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