he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
