I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
