So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
