She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
