I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
