you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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