Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
