Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
