I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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