i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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