Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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