We're facebook friends in real life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
