shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
