I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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