got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
