Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
