I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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