Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
3pm strippers are depressing
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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