so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
