he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
