I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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