we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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