Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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