U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
