You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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