so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
