i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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