I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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