Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
