Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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