you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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