I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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