I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
