college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
