Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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