HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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