After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
