is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
