Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
