To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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