please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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