i barfeds in our rink
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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