i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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