Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Success! We fucked roommates!
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