i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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