make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
