Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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