I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
