I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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