so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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