He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
