i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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