Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just high enough for therapy.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
